Today I am sick

Today I woke up sick with a very sore throat and a huge headache. In the past 15 months I have never ever gotten sick not even a stomachache. But, today I am sick and it really sucks. I mean the one day that I get sick hubby has to get to work at 5:45 am, I am in a tiny town in West Virginia and my kid is more fussy than usual because she is cutting a tooth. 

Today I am more aware of what a mom with no help has to go through when she feels like sh$t. Seriously this is one of the worst things I have ever come to encounter especially because I have no family near me that I can ask to help me out. They are all in Mexico and today is one of those days were I wish I was living back home in the comfort of knowing everything, everyone and knowing what will come. Today I wish we were not here, I wish I was with my family.

But, I will get through it and I will survive. I mean there are so many people that have it so much worse than I do and they have managed to survive that I can´t help but be a little bit embarassed by my whiny post, just a little. 

It´s OK, I mean sometimes I get homesick and then it all goes away by the next day. So, I am just patiently waiting for tomorrow to come with a nice hot cup of lemon tea with honey.

Thanks, for reading and not saying what a whiny mommy I am. =)

Shiny new razor

There are two things I want to talk about today. They might not be important but somehow got under my skin for either being stupid or funny. I had an appointment with my OB/GYN in the morning and I had to take my 14 month old daughter with me. I had no one that could take care of her since my whole family is in Mexico and rely on my husband. He had a meeting and was not able to look after her. So there we were in the little room waiting for the doctor to do my annual. I was in a bathrobe running around my daughter. NOTE: I have no idea why those robes never have a belt. I hate that I can´t tie the robe around my body and not worry about flashing my daughter.

Anyway, the doctor eventually got in and she was so nice about the fact that there was 14 month old baby crying thinking she was going to be the patient. There I was legs open, having my annual with a crying baby sitting on my stomach thinking it was hilarious to bounce up and down hearing my breath whoosh every single time. It was one of the most aukward moments in my life. So that was the first thing. I guess that was the really stupid. 

Now for the second. Since I was going to go to my OB/GYN and even though she is a woman I wanted to groom myself. You know what I mean. Groom everywhere that might look weird or disgusting. So, I was showering that morning and I guess I must have used my husband´s razor because when he took a shower he said that it was filled with gross looking hairs. Tonight I took a shower and found my husband´s old razor next to my shampoo with a bow on it. Next to HIS shampoo was a shiny new razor. Do you think he is trying to tell me something???  

Karma

Traveling with a baby is really a big hassle, so if you don´t have to do it, DON´T or be prepared to be really patient. Yesterday we flew to Washington D.C. On the second plane we were the only people who had a screaming baby that was overtired. I really cannot believe how there are some amazingly rude people in this planet. 

I mean my husband and I were doing EVERYTHING and I mean everything we could think of to help her go to sleep so she could be tired. Then this guy has the nerve to walk beside our seats and stop and say "THIS is why children should not travel," pointing at us which made it a hell of a lot worse. 

I was ready to give him a piece of my mind but ever nice hubby told me to cool and not let it get to me. Karma, he said, it always comes back to bite you in the ass. Yeah, whatever, I told him.

While my baby slept, finally, before the plane had even boarded I was looking at the woman loading up all the bags into the plane. She got into her cart and without knowing backed up and over a black bag. The black bag ripped open, blue shampoo spilling all over, toothbrush, toothpaste, undies (could not make out if there were men or women), hairbrush and more stuff. The woman stopped did a "oops" and kind of bandaged the bag with a lot of plastic and put it into the plane. I was thinking that whoever had that bag was in for a big surprise. 

I was feeling sorry for whoever was going home with a messed up and gooey bag. The flight was fine, and by the time we got in P had gotten up, hubby was busy trying to get out on the aisle and I was just shooting dagger looks at bad mouth man. 

We got into the baggage terminal and guess who had the messed up gooey bag? Yup, Karma, always comes back to bite you in the ass. 

No pool for me...

Today we went to the pool. We have this medium sized pool at our community and we decided it was time that our princess got into the pool and learned to love it. I of course had not worn any of my swimsuits for about 2 years now. I was so self-conscious going to the pool, my butt, belly and thighs jiggling while I walked and my boobs sagging down to the ground. 

We got there and my husband got into the pool without a care in the world, my daughter excited got into the pool as well. Me? I kinda looked around to see who was there. Of course there had to be the swimsuit model type girls that were tanning. Crap, I thought. I mean really the best way to feel worse about your body is looking at girls that have these amazing bodies making you long for the pre-baby body you had.

I know, you look at your child and it makes it worth it. But, even then you still want to have an amazing body just like those college girls. I seriously did not want to get in the pool but my husband was urging me to get in. I slowly took of my t-shirt. Stood there just looking around waiting for another flabby mom to come my way. No luck.

Made myself busy folding up clothes, towels, putting sunblock and then...there was nothing left to do but take off my shorts and get in the pool. Oh my god, people were actually going to laugh at my cellulite. I mustered up my courage took off my shorts, got in the pool and swam towards my husband and daughter. And then, my top fell off, my sagging boobs were out. 

So for now, no more pool for me.

I am THAT MOM...

Yesterday I became THAT MOM. THAT MOM that many women look at and seem to think she is crazy and is just plain over exagerating about everything. 

You see yesterday we had a girl´s day out for a few hours and yesterday was the first day my princess went to daycare. I left her around 10 am and she seemed fine. I was the kind of mom that was not leaving the day care facility. I stayed for 45 minutes watching my baby through the window, looking at the way she was. 

She looked alone, scared, sad and she was holding on to her dolly for dear life. I left her there with a broken heart, I was so scared I actually cried. And from that moment on I was THAT MOM. I was THAT MOM that called 3 times in 3 hours. Of course when I picked her up she was fine.

So really, it was much harder for me than it was for her. From now on I am able to see that I really don´t care at all to be THAT MOM the kind that cares deeply for their child and cannot seem to let go. Yes, that´s me, guilty. I just hope my daughter doesn´t get embarassed by me when she´s a teenager and she learns she´s got THAT MOM forever.

An Honor and a Privelege

For more than a year I have been blessed to be a mom. When my mom called me and told me "Happy Mother´s Day" I now know what that means. I now know that we are on the same team, that we have more than just love in common. 

I still find it hard to think of myself as part of THE MOM GROUP because although I am on, and although I love my daughter I still see it fit for old women. Now I realize that I AM AN OLD WOMAN, I have become a part of THE MOM GROUP, the one that I used to look up because they were so tall, now I get to look down. 

I never knew I could love someone so much.

It sounds so cliché but I never knew someone so little could bring so many emotions to me.

My scars on my tummy remind me every single day of my marriage and the day when she was born.

I never knew I could love like that.

I never knew someone so small could show me so much.

I never thought I was going to be a mom so young.

I know now what it means to be a mom.

I don´t know how to be a great mom.

I just know I can be me as a mom.

HAPPY MOTHER´S DAY!!!

FELIZ DIA DE LAS MADRES!!!

Remember to be a mom is an honor and a privilege.

Baby and me

I just thought it would become more real and personal if I posted a picture of my baby girl and myself. Still not sure if hubby wants me to put himup on the web. Will wait and see what happens on that. At least you get to meet us, kind of.